At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
