she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
