Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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