4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize