Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
