Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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