So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
