he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
