Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
