i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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