I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
