We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize