I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
