sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
