He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just want to make out with him forever
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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