At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
