Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
