you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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