ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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