when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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