Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
