do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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