I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
