This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize
