Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
