And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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