So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize