So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
