I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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