I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
