It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
