what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
