i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
