Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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