I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
