me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
