i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A+ Viking dick
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
