he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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