I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
