the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also, beer. Big fan.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
