i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
