I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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