i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
