maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
