you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Enjoy the penises
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
