sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
