Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sorry my hands just texted you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
