so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
