I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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