I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just google imaged poop.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
