you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
