Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
