Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize