I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
