I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
