my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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