is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
