Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
