Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
