she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
