Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
