Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
