we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
