were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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