that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
