We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
