Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize