Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
