Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
