once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
is it fun? or sober?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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