You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
