who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
