I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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