I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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