Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
