Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
