What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
this hospital has no fireball
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
