Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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