Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it's like iHOP with fire
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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