Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
