Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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