no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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