Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
