Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
